I’ve figured it out. Accidentally, in an
epiphany-out-of-nowhere (as opposed to pre-planned expected epiphanies?) sort
of way. It’s actually something that has crossed the male mind at least one a
day and, after centuries of trending on the thought space, can be summed up as:
“So what she’s saying is…” And, after getting it wrong the first time, as: “so
what she’s actually saying is…” Which
is what dubstep is: A guy trying to understand what a girl actually means. And
failing.
Enter Average Dubstep Song, from stage left (not right,
because songs play from left to right on all music players, except maybe in a
middle east, where they probably play from right to left). Average Dubstep Song has a very distinct
construct. It starts with calm-ish music
in the background, as a woman sings a line or two. Nothing too esoteric, just
simple, harmless everyday words. Basic sentences.
And then…
ALL OF A SUDDEN, THE ENTIRE SOUNDSCAPE WARPS INTO A 6.8 RICHTER, ELECTRONIC CACOPHONY more commonly identifiable as THRGHUUU WOB WOB WOB WOB WROOOO WOAAAA BWOB BWOB BWOB, or WRRRWOBWOBWOBWOB, for short.
AND THEN…
Back to the calm-ish music in the background, as the woman sings the same line or two. Nothing too esoteric, just simple, everyday words. Basic sentences.
Cut to a girl and her guy talking.
Girl: Sure baby, go. You need to chill
with your friends sometimes.
Guy’s mind: WRRRWOBWOBWOBWOB WOOOOOOO WRAAAAAA… so what she’s saying is
WRRRWOBWOBWOBWOB… no she couldn’t be saying that… THGRWWEERRR… she just said,
“Sure baby, go. You need to chill with your friends sometimes.”
Girl’s mind: Don’t you dare. Tonight was supposed to be our night, remember?
Guy: Ok, bye!
BAD MOVE.
